(originally sent 07/09/26)
Ahh, jealousy. It’s got to be one of the most human experiences.
“That person over there has a better body than me / more followers / earns more money / has more people in their classes / seems happier than me / [insert other thing you perceive they have that you don’t have]…”
On and on the internal chatter goes.
This week I was asked how I deal with jealousy.
At first, I remembered the quote “comparison is the thief of joy” (attributed to Theodore Roosevelt), which can be helpful in recognising the unproductive power of jealousy.
But I also like to lean on the teachings of Patañjali’s four keys to serenity of mind.
In yoga sūtra 1.33, it is said:
maitrī karuṇā mudito-pekṣāṇāṃ
sukha duḥkha puṇyā-puṇya
viṣayāṇāṃ bhāvanātaś
citta prasādanam
Patañjali advises that if we wish to preserve the innate serenity of our mind (and it is good to know our mind is innately serene – it is out natural state!), then we need to have an approach for how we interact with the four different kinds of people in the world: the happy, unhappy, the virtuous and the wicked. Each person is like a lock, and if we have the correct key, we can open the door to peace of mind.
Patañjali says —
- Be happy for those who are happy. Regardless of whether you agree with the source of their happiness. It is not our business as to why they are happy, but it is our business to cultivate happiness towards them.
- Be compassionate towards those who are unhappy. Be kind, considerate and non-judgemental. It’s not our business why they are unhappy, but we can be a friend and support them during difficult times.
- Be delighted for the virtuous. I think this is the one that really rings true for jealousy, because it’s tempting to be jealous of someone who is virtuous – especially if you view someone as being in direct “competition” with you, somehow. Instead, be delighted! How amazing for them that they are thriving! How inspiring!
- Be indifferent towards the wicked. Haters gonna hate. Don’t waste your precious energy with people who are trying to stir you up. Cultivating indifference doesn’t mean ignoring or condoning wicked actions, but it means — don’t let them disturb your peace!
My logical brain (which is most likely heightened by my autism) likes to kick in and remind me that jealousy is a real waste of prāṇa. Why should I waste my precious energy on what other people are doing? My prāṇa is limited, and it would be such a better use of my time to direct it towards something uplifting, something that will make me useful in the world.
So ultimately, that’s my three-fold answer to how I deal with jealousy:
- It’s a thief of joy
- Be delighted for the virtuous
- Your prāṇa is precious – use it for something productive
In Golden Yoga School teacher training, we spend an entire weekend unpacking the yoga sūtras and their practical applications. We sit in a circle and cross reference 10+ different translations of the text, and have in depth discussions to unpack this surprisingly relevant scripture (given it was written 20 centuries ago).
If you are interested in learning more, either for your Self practice or to become a teacher within your community, enrolments are open for 2027. Early bird pricing ends 31st Oct. Payment plans available at no extra cost.
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